The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini (Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr 2003, 2005, 2008)

(By Ellie:)

So I should be doing homework....or something more productive, like laundry, but I have to get this off my chest:

Someday I'd like to meet Christopher Paolini, perhaps while he's walking down the street, and when he least expects it, punch him as hard as I possibly can in the face.

Why, You may ask, do I want to punch Paolini in the face?

Because! his book series was the greatest disappointment in my entirety of reading!

You see, I love dragons. My room is decorated with dragons and a large chunk of my art is dedicated to dragons. I've wanted to read his books for a while but it wasn't until recently that I've had the time. So I started reading his series in May and I just now finished.

His first book I felt like, "Okay so you can tell this was written by a sixteen year old." But hey, no biggie, I was told by several other people that you gotta trudge through the first book to get to the second which was supposed to be better.

it was not.

Oh....Kay. Before I go off on all the reasons I didn't like his books, I'll mention the things I did like:

I liked the dragon Saphira, she was at least a fairly interesting character, my bias coming from the fact that I like dragons. I also liked the story of Roran and his escape from the Ra'zac and the survival of Carvahal, it kept me interested (page turner). I liked the idea of the dragon and it's rider sharing a consciousness and being equals, instead of some guy taming a dragon and riding it around like it's his pet. Oh and Angela was a fairly interesting character.

Now the reasons for wanting to punch Paolini in the face:

One: his writing style. His dialog is similar to his narration. Although there are a few characters who have a different way of speaking (Angela, sometimes Saphira), for the most part everyone has the same dialog and says similar things. I suppose I could pull out a few examples from the book but I'm lazy.

Oh! and how he uses descriptions. He'll describe the tiniest, most unimportant shit, like the shadows on his knuckles, the way a sunrise looks, the way the sap dribbles off a tree and bla and bla and bla and bla and bla. I think there's a way to do description which helps your reader to see what it is you are describing all the while giving them the liberty to have their own picture in their head. And quite honestly you don't need to describe a sunrise in explicit detail. Everyone has seen one at least one.

Two: the character Ayra... I wouldn't cry if she dropped dead, you know, just in the middle of the story. So, anyways, Eragon falls in love with this elf warrior and, well, she has the dullest personality out of everyone in the book. It would be like falling in love with an angry stump. A bitter, angry, sad little stump protruding from the ground. She hardly laughs, smiles, or does anything for that matter other than fight and be angry. Quite honestly, I'd like to know how many guys would fall for someone so boring and angry just because she's a hot elf with a tattoo.....uh I might be mistaken.

Three: The Urgals vs. Raz'ac. So the series has like two bad guy groups, the brutish Urgals and the dreadful Raz'ac. What I liked about the book was that Oromis and Glaedr, Eragon, and Saphira's mentors, teach them both that the Urgals are not necessarily bad evil creatures, just simply misunderstood. He explains to the hot-headed Eragon that it's not right to judge them, for having a different culture and bla bla bla and that they do not deserve to be driven to extinction.
BUT FUCK THE RA'ZAC! kill them all, they're evil bitches they are! In fact Eragon you should wipe them off the face of Alaglasea!

Ahem..

Four: Eragon gets to celebrate with the elves the blood oath celebration, in which he is given a gift that restores his body and makes him look elfy... Yay.
In the celebration there are a set of twin elf ladies, who get naked and show off their--get this--Rainbow dragon tattoo. Rainbow....Dragon.....Tattoo. Singular.
They then dance and the dragon tattoo comes to life and blesses Eragon. But seriously... A shimmering Rainbow Dragon Tattoo? Does anyone else think that sounds incredibly cheesy? It makes me constipated it's so cheesy! Oh other cheesy things

• Brom in diamond tomb - CHEEZE


• The dwarves giant rose shaped gem thing - CORN


• the name: Saphira - Big serving of mac and CHEEZE!


• Riders having a sword the same color as their dragon - Blaaaarge!


• Flaming Blue Sword - Corny Poopie (And that's the Rating!)


• Ayra - WTF. Why does she exsist?


• The elves themselves.... Legolas would cry

Five: The Ancient language. So this language is like cheating, It makes it too easy to write the story. So how the language works is that whenever someone speaks in this language they have to tell the truth, and if you promise something in this language you can't go back on it. So basically the bad guys, never really have their own motives, the reason why they do bad things, is because the one bad guy Galbatorix, has forced them to swear loyalty to him in the ancient language. Basically if something difficult arrises in the plot Paolini just has to say..."well they swore in the ancient language." Grrrrrrrrrr! So Hitler was able to kill a shit ton of people with his Nazis, do you think they swore in some ancient language?

Six: The gore. Alright so I think a lot of Epic fantasy writers look up to Tolkien and his works because he really set the scene for how we view fantasy, including elves, dwarves and the like. He's also a pretty good writer and story teller. Thing about Tolkien is that he himself was a soldier in world war one and lived through world war two. And yet in his writing he never describes the battles in explicit detail. You watch the movies and the battle scenes are epic, you read the books and they almost seem diminished.

Paolini hasn't gone to war. I'm pretty sure he hasn't killed anyone. But he's fine with going into explicit detail on every battle scene or gory event in his books. One particular scene that stands out in my mind, is when bloodthirsty Roran is fighting in battle, and he's practically fighting all by himself with an injured shoulder and leg, and somehow he ends up standing on a hill twenty feet high composed of dead bodies, bodies of the soldiers he killed. All of them who probably swore to Galbatorix in the stupid ancient language. (that's convenient)

Eragon and Arya kill a group of soldiers with their bare hands, one of which pleaded for his life before Eragon killed him. Of course they go to battle a bunch more times and kill some more, and then they kill a little bit more. Towards the end of Brisingr, In the last battle of the book, Eragon is described as being "surrounded by a mist of blood".

I'd honestly like to take Paolini, stick a sword in his hand, ship him overseas to fight in the military and see how well he can hack someone to bits.

It's not that a little bit of gore is a bad thing, and he does mention the twinge of guilt his characters have for killing people, but I feel that he describes it to such a great detail, that it's just immature. I'm not sure how his books have gotten to be so popular, because he writes like a guy who plays too many video games, or maybe a pampered home-schooled rich kid....tell me if I'm close?

In the end I think my question is, will I read the last of the Inheritance Cycle? Hmm maybe. As long as I get to throw the book at his head.

(Anybody have some suggestions of other fantasies series I might actually like? I need to cleanse my brain of all this cheese, corn and gore.)

Birth Rate

Steve King (a representative from Iowa) thinks that if we cover birth control and allow our birth rate fall below our replacement rate (death rate) then we are a "dying civilization".

Perhaps Steve has never heard of a diet.

Right now we are not anywhere near risk of being a "dying civilization". The population of humans on earth is about 70,000 times too many people (population we should have: ~100,000 divided by the population we do have: ~ 7 billion.) I think that we just need to go on a diet. Otherwise we are liable to die of congestive heart failure. Has anyone ever been so obese that their own weight crushed the life out of them like a trash compacter? That will be the fate of our species.

North Dakota Pharmacy Ownership

Once again, big retail stores who also run pharmacies are trying to overturn North Dakota's pharmacy requirements. Right now, a pharmacy in North Dakota must be at least 51% owned by a licensed pharmacist. Because Walmart, Walgreens, or other supermarkets are not owned by actual pharmacists, they cannot open in the state.

The big stores argue that they would provide cheaper drugs to North Dakotans than local pharmacists can if they were allowed to operate here. Many of them now publish lists of prescriptions they offer for $4. "Hundreds of Prescriptions" are claimed. However, out of the 310 drugs which Walmart lists, only about 135 are unique drugs; most of them are repeated as different dosages once or twice, Amoxicillin is listed 16 times. And among the drugs on the list is Ibuprofen.




The list, of course, does not apply to high cost drugs. It also does not work in conjuction with any other financial aid including insurance, which covers 93% of North Dakotas seeking a prescription.




Everyone is hoping to find things for less. But the fact is that North Dakota already has a cheaper average prescription cost than the national or regional average. We also have more pharmacies per person which would suggest greater competition between businesses. For contrast, over 50% of the pharmacies in Sioux Falls, Billings, and Cheyenne, outside of North Dakota, are shared between only 3 businesses.




However, as Kevin Oberlander, a local pharmacist explains, costs are not in a competition system, "it is a managed system" of "take it or leave it contracts" and the $4 prescription promise is a marketing ploy. "These are high profit companies, They know how to make money." If they are offering $4 prescriptions, they are making that cost up somewhere else.




The real issue to Kevin is access to care. "The law is good for the patient. I will argue that to the bitter end." Kevin has colleagues in other states jealous of our requirement. One of his friends, who has worked in a big-box store pharmacy and has some ability to fight for his patients still has decisions made for him by non-medical people. "It is not about the patient. Sometimes decisions are made for us and we have no say in that."




"We are not guaranteed low prices, especially when competition goes away." says Mike Schwab Executive Director of the North Dakota Pharmacists Association. Along with Oberlander, he fears that if the law passes, we will lose many of our pharmacies and that once we lose them, we cannot get them back. "People will lose access to care." says Oberlander. Compared to South Dakota and other similar states, we have fewer counties without a pharmacy and these big box pharmacies have been involved in many court cases for unethical conduct in the last few years. Which North Dakota has not had to suffer.




North Dakota is the only state in the Union which still has a pharmacy ownership law, which Mike believes is good for health and safety; the supreme court agrees as this issue has made it to that level in the past. We should "value being the only state with this law." says Mike, "sometimes being different is a good thing and I like to think that there was some foresight here".

One small story of you, one giant leap for mankind

Hello, my friends.

Recently I began volunteering for the Courage Campaign out of California. What they want right now (for the next two weeks, especially) is for people from across the country to share their stories about dealing with homosexuality in our country. What challenges there are and if there is any backlash for supporting any people regardless of their sexuality.

Some of you may not think you have much of a story, because you aren't homosexual or aren't trans-gender, you may think that you don't have too much of a story to tell. But if you care about this issue, if you have one friend who isn't straight and boring heterosexual person, then you can find something to say. Every story says something and we want any story, big or small.

As an example, I have included the story I wrote for this (Also on http://whythefuckamistartingablog.blogspot.com/2011/06/declining-bigotry.html). It isn't too remarkable. It isn't a life-long struggle, it is just one of the only fights for rights I have been in recently and I thought it would be an appropriate one to tell. After you tell your story, write it down or (better for them) record it on video, or take a picture, you can upload it at: http://testimony.couragecampaign.org/home. If you have any trouble doing this, you can contact me and I can try to help you.

Please, tell use one story in your life about supporting equal rights for all. It doesn't matter how big it is or small it is or if you think you are a good writer. It only matters when you tell your story. It will do something, big or small, it will do something. And I hope you can be proud of that!

Thank you for your time,

My story is down here,

TTFN, Edward

Declining Bigotry

There are times when the problems in the world seem over whelming, that everything is going downhill. But then there are times when we have to realize that ignorant bigotry is disappearing. It is a slow and unsteady process marked at times by the passing of a generation out of our world, but it is happening, at least in some places.

Where I live, one hardly experiences it. The laws in Colorado are not always the most progressive; despite having a very well educated population, we don't spend very much on keeping it; and we are not of of the states in the Union which has done much to specifically legalize marriage between two people of the same sex, but at the same time, I have not heard much of a push to define it as a "one man one woman" thing. We just sit is political stagnation about everything.

However, out of all the people I have ever dealt with in my life, I have never felt much pressure against gay marriage, I have never felt that if I stood up for anyones rights I would be attacked. Or that anyone would care very much; apathy is the deadliest problem with my fellow Coloradans that I have witnessed. My few experiments into this arena testify to this for me.

I have a co-worker, we'll call him "Dave", who is constantly the butt end of every joke in the facility, has his intelligence insulted by his own parents, and has enough self-esteem to drink himself into making out with sidewalks at 3:00 in the morning most days. I am probably the only person at work who doesn't spend most of my time trying to make fun of him. Ryan takes slow parts of the day to seek Dave out and tell him to talk, because anything he says will be hilarious because it is stupid.

I feel a little bad for poor Dave. It isn't always that he is completely brain dead, but he doesn't have a lot of confidence and, after all, has been taught by our society to act this way. It has brought him social success; any attention is good. However, a few weeks ago, he expressed that, "if it weren't illegal, he would kill homosexual people. All of them."

Kill.

I immediately shot back that this pretty much proves what people say about him. He isn't very smart. "Really? A lack of law is the only thing that prevents you from being a homicidal maniac? That's pretty scary, Dave. I think we should probably put you in jail right now, just to get you off the streets. Because that is pretty crazy. That's really unhealthy. That is very bad."

He was a little taken aback. "What!" He replied after several minutes of this, "It was how I was raised."

"That's not a very good reason for anything," I told him, "That's just a poor excuse. You can be more than what you were raised told you to be. You don't have to do what your parents did. You can make up your own mind, Dave."

The part of this story which is the most heartening is that everyone who heard of this sided with me. Ryan, of course did. He likes Dave only to hear him say stupid things. But there was absolutely no one who gave Dave an ounce of support. He was instantly vilified for this. It wasn't funny (completely. Some people found it funny, because it was Dave and he is always stupid and this was just a one-up from anything he'd said before.) it was stupid, purely.

It is this which gives me hope. I see that even people like Dave will change their mind in the fairly near future because they will have to. It is no longer socially advantageous to be a bigot. There is nothing to gain, there is plenty to lose so that even the most selfishly minded in our society will not be able to maintain their bigotry.

The pendulum is slowing. There isn't much to fight against, so fewer people fight very hard. This leads to stagnation on any issue. This is what has to be fought where I am. But the good news is: that progress has been made which can lead to political action.

Declining Bigotry

There are times when the problems in the world seem over whelming, that everything is going downhill. But then there are times when we have to realize that ignorant bigotry is disappearing. It is a slow and unsteady process marked at times by the passing of a generation out of our world, but it is happening, at least in some places.

Where I live, one hardly experiences it. The laws in Colorado are not always the most progressive; despite having a very well educated population, we don't spend very much on keeping it; and we are not of of the states in the Union which has done much to specifically legalize marriage between two people of the same sex, but at the same time, I have not heard much of a push to define it as a "one man one woman" thing. We just sit is political stagnation about everything.

However, out of all the people I have ever dealt with in my life, I have never felt much pressure against gay marriage, I have never felt that if I stood up for anyones rights I would be attacked. Or that anyone would care very much; apathy is the deadliest problem with my fellow Coloradans that I have witnessed. My few experiments into this arena testify to this for me.

I have a co-worker, we'll call him "Dave", who is constantly the butt end of every joke in the facility, has his intelligence insulted by his own parents, and has enough self-esteem to drink himself into making out with sidewalks at 3:00 in the morning most days. I am probably the only person at work who doesn't spend most of my time trying to make fun of him. Ryan takes slow parts of the day to seek Dave out and tell him to talk, because anything he says will be hilarious because it is stupid.

I feel a little bad for poor Dave. It isn't always that he is completely brain dead, but he doesn't have a lot of confidence and, after all, has been taught by our society to act this way. It has brought him social success; any attention is good. However, a few weeks ago, he expressed that, "if it weren't illegal, he would kill homosexual people. All of them."

Kill.

I immediately shot back that this pretty much proves what people say about him. He isn't very smart. "Really? A lack of law is the only thing that prevents you from being a homicidal maniac? That's pretty scary, Dave. I think we should probably put you in jail right now, just to get you off the streets. Because that is pretty crazy. That's really unhealthy. That is very bad."

He was a little taken aback. "What!" He replied after several minutes of this, "It was how I was raised."

"That's not a very good reason for anything," I told him, "That's just a poor excuse. You can be more than what you were raised told you to be. You don't have to do what your parents did. You can make up your own mind, Dave."

The part of this story which is the most heartening is that everyone who heard of this sided with me. Ryan, of course did. He likes Dave only to hear him say stupid things. But there was absolutely no one who gave Dave an ounce of support. He was instantly vilified for this. It wasn't funny (completely. Some people found it funny, because it was Dave and he is always stupid and this was just a one-up from anything he'd said before.) it was stupid, purely.

It is this which gives me hope. I see that even people like Dave will change their mind in the fairly near future because they will have to. It is no longer socially advantageous to be a bigot. There is nothing to gain, there is plenty to lose so that even the most selfishly minded in our society will not be able to maintain their bigotry.

The pendulum is slowing. There isn't much to fight against, so fewer people fight very hard. This leads to stagnation on any issue. This is what has to be fought where I am. But the good news is: that progress has been made which can lead to political action.