I think I may be reaching the end of my endurance for the day. I've only written a page on my Historical Geology paper. I need to try and convince my professor that I know more about the geology of Gunnison Colorado than I really do. I don't think I'm going to do a good job. I have been putting it off for about a month now and am currently doing so on the micro level. I do a little, read something; do a little, look at something else; do a little, zone out.
I'm really good at procrastinating. "First things first, but not necessaily in that order" (Doctor Who).
However, I do not have a 'doctorate' in procrastination. A doctorate in procrastination, a friend of mine once explained, is to be able to put off all of your work until the last minute, spend a few concentrated hours doing it all, and still do it better than anyone else.
Perhaps that's just a savant in procrastination. Or a procrastination genius. Not all doctors are really geniuses....
So I have come up with about 15 topics to write about as I did my assignment and tacked them onto the bottom of my document. Don't worry: I'm not going to try and write about the all here. I don't think that would really make a good piece.
Really, this piece is about procrastination. So far, it's style is fitting. If only this weren't my style most of the time, it might actually mean something.
I started this because I pretty much used up all other avenues I have to procrastinate and I think I'm going to quit working in a little while. Hopefully I can get a fellow classmate to let me look at their paper before they turn it in. There are some things I don't even have a good idea for. Like the conclusion. What is the conclusion for the Geologic History of something? "So, yah, all of that happened. This and that was important. Um, yah. You know that if you read the paper.... But if you're reading this instead of teh paper, I have to wonder why you didn't read the introduction. They say the same thing but that's easier to find as it's at the beginning!
Procrastination. I'm even procrastinating on getting to my point. If I have one. Perhaps this should be about randomness or something. Absent-minded Attention Deficit Minded thinking. I'm good at that too. Perhaps they are similar. I think in a lot of ways, they are. I procrastinate a lot often because I simply don't want to think about what I am supposed to at that moment. I would rather think of something else. There certainly is something to be said for working on your own time-table and your own schedule. The biggest problem, of course, is how would you motivate yourself to finish anything if you weren't required? For many, that wouldn't be a problem, but for me... I don't finish anything in any sort of respectible time frame. Even if I am interested in it. Endings are hard and I get side-tracked by things that are easier.
I read a short piece by a fellow scholar who wondered why she didn't have the motivation to do her work even though she was interested in the subject and enjoyed to learn. I think a good part of it may be this. That we are naturally lazy most of the time. Even if we are supremely interested, it takes a lot of work to focus on one thing. It is much more fun to muse. Perhaps write something on it. Whatever. Than be forced to do this one thing!
That's the other part. I'm not alone in my contempt of being ordered. I rebell. Though I think I tend to do it a little more often than others.
If your study is driven from you, by you, for you, then you are more likely to enjoy doing it and work on it steadily. Motivating yourself to finish is another story. I'm not completely sure why it is so hard. The satisfaction from finishing something is very satisfying. As are many things that I procrastinate from.
But for me, the question begins to grow. My mind is enherently finiky. I'll want to go for a run but procrastinate by writing. To procrastinate from writing, I'll go for a run. Even though I know I will enjoy difficulty (and often pain) I will still tend to avoid it and get mad at myself.
Yet the behaviour doesn't change. There are no positives that I really know, and the behaviour doensn't change. When I do it anyway, stop procrastinating and run or write or whatever, I am rewarded by feeling good about myself (however breifly)... and yet the behaviour doesn't change. People are stupid and crazy, and I am, unfortuneatly, human.
Damn.
The best thing to do, is to fight it. Do what you know is best, what you might even like the most, even if your mind shys from it. Try and get to the bottom of why, but realize it may just be a hardwired malfuction. Once upon a time, being lazy was a little more benificial than now, perhaps. (this is an archeological/biological hypothesis) Maybe it conserved scarce energy, diets were often poorer, food scarcer, predation more common. Biologically, I suppose, it makes sence for your body to avoid what it hard. It's hard, after all. But mentially, we must remember that it's good for us anyway.
And how did my discussion get here?
Because procrastination is easy. Even if you would rather do what you are avoiding and like it.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
A Good Reputation is Hard to Overcome?
I just read a comic (Zits) that said: "A good reputation is hard to overcome." Which is false. It is easy to destroy a good reputation in our society, all you have to do is make a mistake. That's all. Reputation gone. What is difficult, if not impossible without relocation, is to repair you reputation after said mistake.
Least, that's how it seems to me most of the time.
Least, that's how it seems to me most of the time.
Compatibility
I recently noted that I seem to like everything that I'm not. I like qualities in people that are really the opposite of what I am. And I don't mean the things I can help, to a certain point. I mean the things that I don't know how to change; are inate in what type of personality I am. I think that a great ability the human psyche can have is to devote itself in love and caring for others. To truly empathize and be able to feel others. I have talked to many with this ability and think it is one of the greatest shortcomings of my mind. I am also shy and quiet, I like people who can talk and are more aggressive. Though, I suppose, I don't necessairly like people who are too aggressive and rely on their ability to feel too much... Balance is still important. (there are more I can't think of now, but may add some day. )
But I do like the things that have been a choice, for the most part. My political and moral ideals, for example. The type of things that if I didn't like, I wouldn't be.
These ideas lend credance to the idea that "opposites attract" and "birds of a feather flock togeather". I think for a lot of people, it may be benificial to associate with people who act a little differently that you do because they will handel certain situations better than you. But because you are different from them, you will handel others better. You will be able to get more sight on an issue, a position, what have you... but you will still be able to get along well.
This does not mean that it is impossible to have a friend with diffent moral ideals, political views, religion, et cetera. But if everything about their opinions is differnt, it probably won't be the longest lasting or deepest friendship. How could it be? If you can't see eye to eye on anything, what keeps you hanging out? You like the same activities? You are phisically attracted (romantically, whatever)? I don't think that's enough to make a real good friendship. Just a good spotter or belayer.
But balance is important. I suppose a lot of this makes it easier to achieve a balance. Which is always nice and good even if it is difficult. With two or more people it is easier to achieve a good, healthy balance because it doesn't demand that one person has perfect balance. Which is, of course, impossible. Again, this could be difficult. such perfect relationships may, ironically, be difficult to maintain. Especially if you aren't open minded to the fact that your friend acts a little different from you, if this embarrasses you, if you don't actually like it if people are at all different from you. I wonder how many people there are who don't like it if people differ from them? ... I would guess not many.
Anyway, just an interesting note.
But I do like the things that have been a choice, for the most part. My political and moral ideals, for example. The type of things that if I didn't like, I wouldn't be.
These ideas lend credance to the idea that "opposites attract" and "birds of a feather flock togeather". I think for a lot of people, it may be benificial to associate with people who act a little differently that you do because they will handel certain situations better than you. But because you are different from them, you will handel others better. You will be able to get more sight on an issue, a position, what have you... but you will still be able to get along well.
This does not mean that it is impossible to have a friend with diffent moral ideals, political views, religion, et cetera. But if everything about their opinions is differnt, it probably won't be the longest lasting or deepest friendship. How could it be? If you can't see eye to eye on anything, what keeps you hanging out? You like the same activities? You are phisically attracted (romantically, whatever)? I don't think that's enough to make a real good friendship. Just a good spotter or belayer.
But balance is important. I suppose a lot of this makes it easier to achieve a balance. Which is always nice and good even if it is difficult. With two or more people it is easier to achieve a good, healthy balance because it doesn't demand that one person has perfect balance. Which is, of course, impossible. Again, this could be difficult. such perfect relationships may, ironically, be difficult to maintain. Especially if you aren't open minded to the fact that your friend acts a little different from you, if this embarrasses you, if you don't actually like it if people are at all different from you. I wonder how many people there are who don't like it if people differ from them? ... I would guess not many.
Anyway, just an interesting note.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
What is Wrong with Todays Gamers?
They are so fuckin' broken! Graphics! Violence! Gore! Yes
Cute! Ahhh! Get away from me!
What are you, afraid of being called a fag? Whatever you are, you goddamned paranoid.
What do graphics even matter? Everywhere I go, the people are saying: "The Graphics are awesome!" "Those graphics suck." "It has interesting graphics." "I don't like the graphics." "I really like the graphics."
That's it. Not a word on sound, or gameplay, or inventiveness. Just bloody graphics.
At least on line...
For some reason, all the people I talk to in reality say: "Yah, I think graphics are good enough. I liked the Super Nintendo."
People talk about the "Next Generation Expireance" when I say: "Dreamcast could push all the graphics I could ever want. If you like 3D games, the SNES couldn't really do it. Saturn and 64 could a little, but it didn't work great (although the 64 could, it often didn't) and Dreamcast worked phenominally." I don't need a fuckin' 360 to have fun. In fact, I don't think I could have fun on a 360. All the games I see for it are just like what I saw for Dreamcast. And 64. A little prettier, but basically the same. There are few new plots that really take advantage of the capabilities Video Gaming has as a story telling medium, and there is little in the way of innovative play techniques (besides a few little changes to a very stale formula).
The Wii is very interesting as far as the new machines go. The DS has some creativity as well. Perhaps something that could be fun is for manufacures of bigger things (like treadmills) made things to connect to these machines and we could have a truly interactive expireance.
Control is what we should focus on.
Make a controller that is shaped like a frisbee and lets have the first Ultimate Video Game! (Mind you, it will never compare with going out side with a frisbee!)
Cute! Ahhh! Get away from me!
What are you, afraid of being called a fag? Whatever you are, you goddamned paranoid.
What do graphics even matter? Everywhere I go, the people are saying: "The Graphics are awesome!" "Those graphics suck." "It has interesting graphics." "I don't like the graphics." "I really like the graphics."
That's it. Not a word on sound, or gameplay, or inventiveness. Just bloody graphics.
At least on line...
For some reason, all the people I talk to in reality say: "Yah, I think graphics are good enough. I liked the Super Nintendo."
People talk about the "Next Generation Expireance" when I say: "Dreamcast could push all the graphics I could ever want. If you like 3D games, the SNES couldn't really do it. Saturn and 64 could a little, but it didn't work great (although the 64 could, it often didn't) and Dreamcast worked phenominally." I don't need a fuckin' 360 to have fun. In fact, I don't think I could have fun on a 360. All the games I see for it are just like what I saw for Dreamcast. And 64. A little prettier, but basically the same. There are few new plots that really take advantage of the capabilities Video Gaming has as a story telling medium, and there is little in the way of innovative play techniques (besides a few little changes to a very stale formula).
The Wii is very interesting as far as the new machines go. The DS has some creativity as well. Perhaps something that could be fun is for manufacures of bigger things (like treadmills) made things to connect to these machines and we could have a truly interactive expireance.
Control is what we should focus on.
Make a controller that is shaped like a frisbee and lets have the first Ultimate Video Game! (Mind you, it will never compare with going out side with a frisbee!)
"Turn your mind away from things which are not permanent.
Before I begin this thought, let me just say that I have a very high respect for eastern Taoist and Buddahist wisdom. I think many people can benifit from it.
Having said that, I cam across this quote: "Turn your mind away from things which are not permanent." It was attributed to Buddah.
In a way, this can be a very good thing to do. In a way. Sort of like "In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?" (Walk Two Moons, recommended read). But the latter is a better way of phrasing it. I think that sometimes, people follow the former far too much nowadays. Because of our 'understanding of science' we now know that species survival is not permanent, nor is the existance of the earth, the climate, or anything at all for that matter. And because it is not permanent, we don't respect it as much as we perhaps should. Right now, we as humans commit untold ammounts of devistation on the earth. Perhaps because we justify our distructive behaviour by saying: "It's not permanent. Species have died before." We completely ignore the fact that they are alive now and our behaviour is not really all that considerate in the short term. People throw a cigarette butt on the ground because it's small. It can't cause too much damage on its own, right? But we throw millions on the ground every day. Individually, their damage is minimal, but that is a hell of a lot of cigarette butts. Even if you ask about a lifetime, the damage wouldn't be great, but it could butterfly effect into something monserous.
But our consumarist need to own all sorts of crap is an inpermanet thing we could probably avoid. Much of it is unneccessairy. But still, I am not quite so crazy (yet) to say that everyone should shun everything that gives them enjoyment. And for most people, frivolous impermanent knicknacks can do just that. As long as you don't kill to much needlessly, go ahead.
Having said that, I cam across this quote: "Turn your mind away from things which are not permanent." It was attributed to Buddah.
In a way, this can be a very good thing to do. In a way. Sort of like "In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?" (Walk Two Moons, recommended read). But the latter is a better way of phrasing it. I think that sometimes, people follow the former far too much nowadays. Because of our 'understanding of science' we now know that species survival is not permanent, nor is the existance of the earth, the climate, or anything at all for that matter. And because it is not permanent, we don't respect it as much as we perhaps should. Right now, we as humans commit untold ammounts of devistation on the earth. Perhaps because we justify our distructive behaviour by saying: "It's not permanent. Species have died before." We completely ignore the fact that they are alive now and our behaviour is not really all that considerate in the short term. People throw a cigarette butt on the ground because it's small. It can't cause too much damage on its own, right? But we throw millions on the ground every day. Individually, their damage is minimal, but that is a hell of a lot of cigarette butts. Even if you ask about a lifetime, the damage wouldn't be great, but it could butterfly effect into something monserous.
But our consumarist need to own all sorts of crap is an inpermanet thing we could probably avoid. Much of it is unneccessairy. But still, I am not quite so crazy (yet) to say that everyone should shun everything that gives them enjoyment. And for most people, frivolous impermanent knicknacks can do just that. As long as you don't kill to much needlessly, go ahead.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Why The Fuck Am I Starting A Blog?
Joining in with the crowd is something I have a particular aversion to. I do not have 'myspace' and don't intend to. But I have been intregued by this 'blogging' thing and I do like to write, so I figured "Why not". I did misplace my real journal in California.
Besides, I'd like others to see my writing. I want publication. And this may turn out to be a good way to get feed back on my thoughts.
So I suppose that's why I'm doing it. Despite the fact that I don't really have time. But that's never really stopped me before.
Perhaps this will help me to expand my writing a little. Because I whenever I write out my thoughts, it turns into a tiny little paragraph of musing. Though I do think that it is relitivily complete, it may not be as clear as it could be simply because I did not devote as many words to it's description as I could have.
Maybe I'll just learn to be happy with my short writing. I don't know. We'll see what happens with this. Hopefully I get some readers and such. I'd write on FanStory, but I don't have money.
I wonder how long I'm going to keep this up? Traditionally, I get sidetracked, especially when it envolves a computer. I am sure there will be days when I think: "hey, I should write a blog about what we've talked about. It is an interesting topic, perhaps I'll learn something in the writing... perhaps I'll get a good responce... So I should publish it... Nah. I don't want to turn on a bloody computer. Fucking things..." and mutter to myself about my hatrid of these machines. Perhaps it will be better if I ever get a Macintosh, but I don't think it'll get much better. Computer manufacturers have not made an operating system superior to a pen and paper. Though Mac is better that Windows by a factor of about 9.46E85, it is not good.
Anyway, I hope someone likes these random mutterings from my disturbed mind and doesn't get too distracted by my spelling. Spelling isn't that important, in the end, and I don't think I care to correct it all. I'm not that much of a perfectionist, though my cousin may disagree.
Besides, I'd like others to see my writing. I want publication. And this may turn out to be a good way to get feed back on my thoughts.
So I suppose that's why I'm doing it. Despite the fact that I don't really have time. But that's never really stopped me before.
Perhaps this will help me to expand my writing a little. Because I whenever I write out my thoughts, it turns into a tiny little paragraph of musing. Though I do think that it is relitivily complete, it may not be as clear as it could be simply because I did not devote as many words to it's description as I could have.
Maybe I'll just learn to be happy with my short writing. I don't know. We'll see what happens with this. Hopefully I get some readers and such. I'd write on FanStory, but I don't have money.
I wonder how long I'm going to keep this up? Traditionally, I get sidetracked, especially when it envolves a computer. I am sure there will be days when I think: "hey, I should write a blog about what we've talked about. It is an interesting topic, perhaps I'll learn something in the writing... perhaps I'll get a good responce... So I should publish it... Nah. I don't want to turn on a bloody computer. Fucking things..." and mutter to myself about my hatrid of these machines. Perhaps it will be better if I ever get a Macintosh, but I don't think it'll get much better. Computer manufacturers have not made an operating system superior to a pen and paper. Though Mac is better that Windows by a factor of about 9.46E85, it is not good.
Anyway, I hope someone likes these random mutterings from my disturbed mind and doesn't get too distracted by my spelling. Spelling isn't that important, in the end, and I don't think I care to correct it all. I'm not that much of a perfectionist, though my cousin may disagree.
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