Conan the Barbarian is no more nor less than a D&D game filmed. Which is fine, but it still "Reeks of Laziness" to me. Don't expect anything to be adequately explained but do expect Conan to randomly attack various mammals. Overall, the movie makes less than sense and I have to wonder how and why Conan gets to be the good guy besides that the creators hate hippies. Even though it is a "High Adventure Fantasy" (whatever people mean by that), it should have some plot, right? The best stories I know of are Fantasy; is it my favorite genre. I feel that projects such as Conan cheapen it greatly.
This is a movie to watch and make fun of. Incoherent grunting, weird narrator who quits half way though, pathetic attempts and drama and suspense. The movie would be hilarious to parody with a roid monster in the Conan role and introducing more random Hulk Smash moments (of which there are surprisingly few), random pointless flexing, and feats of impossible strength. Essentially making it into what I feared it would be.
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